Saturday, July 26, 2008

Tender Mercies

I don't know how to put this lightly but I've been struggling big time lately. I guess it's been about 3 weeks since I felt normal. I love my children more than I love myself and to see them struggle (with their unrelenting eczema) hurts me. Unfortunately I have a great support system but I wasn't reaching out to them. I was reaching out to people I thought would help me but ultimately they couldn't get over themselves to help at all. And I wasn't in a place to recognize the baby steps, I needed A LOT of help. Anyways, what I'm getting at is Heavenly Father loves me. When people were pushing me to my breaking point Heavenly Father gave me a way out.

A little more back story: I had wanted to get my children into this naturopath for a while but there's a waiting list. They finally got in on Wednesday July 16th! We started their restrictive diet on that Saturday (we messed up a couple times that day but it was an O.K. start). By Monday Grayson's rash was getting worse (sometimes with natural medicine that happens btw) but by Tuesday it was crazy inflamed and oozing. It's kind of a "normal" reaction but the baby was in pain. I called Dr. Chaney to see what she wanted me to do but I just had to leave a message with the receptionist to have her call me back. My cell phone didn't ring when I had the incoming call so I didn't get to talk to the doctor that night and I was pretty upset. By Wednesday morning Gray's rash was up and down his legs, very painful and very weepy. I had to give the poor baby Motrin just to not cry all the time! By 10am I hadn't heard from the doctor so I drove down to the doctor's office to wait in her office until she could see him. When we got there the receptionist ,who obviously doesn't have kids, was rude. Even though I wanted to slap her face I patiently told her that I was just going to wait for the doctor to come in (I guess her first appointment isn't until 10:30am) and sat down. I got my kids settled, waited the 15 minutes for her, she looked at his rash, gave me the remedies I needed, and most importantly reassured me that I was a good mom and I was doing great. The next night was the worst night of my entire life! Gray cried off and on the whole night and my stress levels were off the charts!! I didn't know how to calm down at this point, I was sleep deprived and in "survival mode". Well then on Friday morning Dr. Chaney's office called, they had had a cancellation and asked if I wanted it for myself, not for my kids. Yes I did! I was able to get the remedies I needed to calm myself down the natural way I prefer and Dr. Chaney was able to say some really profound things to bring me back to reality. You cannot imagine how different I feel. It's amazing. I'm almost dumbfounded when I think of how close to my breaking point I was and how quickly He provided a way back. I love my Heavenly Father and am grateful he loves little ol' imperfect, outspoken, strong-minded me.

One of the things Dr. Chaney said that I want to remember forever is : "You brought your child down to the doctor's office without an appointment, you know how to get things done. You're the kind of person I want on my team." Thank you Dr. Chaney, thank you.

And she guessed that I was Mormon. And so did the acupuncturist I saw today! It was as little strange to have it asked two times in two days. The acupuncturist was very nice and chatty so I asked her how she knew and she said "Mormons tend to have an attractive, wholesome appearance and you fit the bill". I suspect it's also because I listed that I don't drink or smoke on my Personal Information forms and am relatively young to have 3 kids, but I like her explanation just the same :)

Ahhhh, I can breath again :)


Jocie said...

Ahh Autumn, I am glad you got someone to help you and it stinks that your kids have eczema so bad. I never had it that bad. I hope they feel better and I Love you too!

Autumn said...

Thanks Jo!!

rachel said...

how did the acupuncturist go? and you are a great mom. i see how you interact with your kids and laugh and joke and love them. everything is not the end of the world if something spills. i love your attidude. i try to be more like you with my own kids and be happy and carefree in the moment and enjoy life.

Autumn said...

The acupuncturist was great. I don't know if it helped a ton because I was already feeling so good from Dr. Chaney's visit that it's hard to tell. I'm definitely glad I went!

Lisa and Bill said...

I totally admire how you are with your kids. Leah is an amazing young lady & the boys are great too! Dr.Chaney sounds like a wonderful doctor & that was super nice how she complimented you & your diligence in taking care of your kids.